..:MyWORLD full of Fangirl:..

♥Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A day~,♥

Today..
A tiring day...(again)

In school..
Because of taekwondo t-shirt stuff...
I ran up and down the stairs almost more than 10 times...
To look for Mr.Param...
But at last I still cant manage to find him...

So what I should do is make my own design of t-shirt...

Never mind..
I still can do it...

Once get home..
Call WaiLing and DanDan to ask bout idea/how...

Then straight away..
Switch on computer on net find idea..
Then think and think and think the design..

Never mind..
I still can do it..

The thing that I cant stand is...

While I was doing this..
I was SSOO stree and tension..
This is the time my mother come and BLA BLA BLA...
Say I 24 hours sitting in front of the computer do nothing/do the useless thing...
Then later she give me see a 'bad face' of her's...

Then my dad also datang and BLA BLA BLA sekali..
They both talk to each other got laughter...
With me..
Like I killed their whole family..
Stare at me angrily,no sign of happiness...

When Im bathing..
I heard they all say me useless person..
Cant even help anything...
Then they start comparing with other people...
No should not consider as people..
Should be ANIMAL..

Have you ever see a parents that compare their child with a beast??
It's that bring the meaning 'I'm even useless than the beast??"
Is this want they want to tell me??

If this is their meaning..
There is no point for me to stay in this house or even in this world?!

I try to help them WHEN I HAVE TIME..
If I really dont have time...
How you expect me to help??
You just gave me 2 hands and 2 legs with 1 body..
I cant seperate them..

Then when my mum is bathing[The moment I start typing this post]...
My dad say:
"You are such a useless..Everyday 24 hours sit in front of the stupid machine..I WARN YOU AR..
TONIGHT YOU GET ON THE BED EARLY AR...Next morning wake you up tak bangun-bangun"
His tone getting higher...

My tears is more like wanna run out...
Why cant they understand me more??
Why cant they think on my side??
Why must only me to think on their side??

Yesterday, suddenly my knee pain..
When I walk around the house..
They say..
Buat kerja sikit-sikit sudah jalan pun terjengket-jengket..
Apatah kita orang tua?
Is it me is the one who want to walk like this??
Is it me the one who want to be like this??
Is it me the one who want this kind of life??

I know I shouldn't complain like this..
But what they say and express to me no matter directly or indirectly forces me to have think kind of thoughts...

I already have enough stress in school..
Come home stress some more..
I dont think I have a place that I no need to be stress..
If this goes on..
I tell you one day..
They will regret..
Because they will not see me again in this house..
I'll be send to the Hospital Bahagia..

DBSK is love @ 2:47 AM